Men, men, men, men, manly, men, men, men

Making the theme tune for "Two and a half men" the title for this blog in no way means I endorse the show (except as a hearty "How NOT to be a good example in life, love and relationships for the young men in your life who are looking to you as example and mentor").

But I do want to discuss manly men (and I think the intro to this show is pretty cool and brings a smile to my face...watch it here)...

The Background

Last week I went to a FLAME course in Denton, Maryland to study two courses towards ordination - after I complete all the course work for these two, I only have 5 left to do!! As much as FLAME is an academic venture, it is also a spiritual retreat - a chance to meet, fellowship, worship and pray with my fellow FLAMIN' brothers and sisters. In my 5 days there, I think I saw more men tear up or openly cry than I've seen for ages. And these are manly men; men, in my mind who are manly enough to cry - to overcome the barrier that so many men, including myself, encounter - the desire to appear to have it all together...the need to seem unmoved.

Men crying

I saw men cry as we heard about a school in which 300 children got swine flu and one died. One of the pastors had to go home to attend to this huge need. I saw a man cry as he shared with me that God so powerfully spoke to him through a song he was listening to on his mp3 player that he had to leave the communal room in which he was sitting to spent time crying to God in an empty adjacent room. I saw my lecturer tear up as he recounted circumstances in his life in which only God intervening could make any difference. I saw a new friend of mine tear up as he shared about God using him powerfully in evangelism. Manly men.

One evening, I sat round the supper table with some of my fellow FLAMERS and we shared with each other instances in our lives that God had made himself so real and so apparent through circumstances that reached beyond coincidence. Only God moving in a miraculous way could explain it. And guess what? Men were tearing up. Manly men.

I'm so glad you're here

One guy, who was serving so humbly in the kitchen came up to me virtually every day, put his arm around my shoulder and said “I’m so glad you’re here”. Did I know him? No. Did I feel uncomfortable because I didn’t know him? Strangely, no. I can smell insincerity a mile off, as can most of us, but there was none of that in this manly man. There was a genuine power in this man that reached across to me through his side hugs and sincere “I’m so glad you’re here”. Manly men.

My last day, my prayer group (made up of manly men) moved beyond the standing in a circle, arms by our sides to getting into a ‘rugby huddle’ and leaning into each other as we prayed. Why? Because a manly man, tears in his eyes, suggested it. Manly men.

Refreshingly manly

Am I saying that in order for us to be manly men, we need to cry? No. Am I saying that I’m going to start crying now on a regular basis? No. That’s not who I am (at least for now!)

But what I am saying is that there is something refreshingly manly about men who get beyond the usual strictures that society (or they) place on themselves (to be strong, slightly aloof, together, in check, unemotional) by allowing the Spirit of God to move them emotionally. We were not created to be Marlboro Men: solitary, alone, independent, chiseled out out of granite.

As one manly man, Paul wrote:

For I wrote you out of great distress and anguish of heart and with many tears, not to grieve you but to let you know the depth of my love for you. (2 Cor. 2:3)

Or how about another manly man?

My intercessor is my friend as my eyes pour out tears to God; on behalf of a man he pleads with God as a man pleads for his friend. (Job 16:20-21)

Men, men, men, men, manly, men, men, men!